Back at school, giving oral sex was a ‘base’ you reached, a step in the right direction towards the “main event”. Then something happens. You grow up. Going down on a woman becomes more than just third base and more than just foreplay - oral sex for her is a good form of foreplay, but it can also be the main event itself.
Even if you’ve been together a while, it’s good to treat each time as the first time and find out what she’s in the mood for at that moment.
Remember, every woman is different, so there’s no ‘right way’ to do it, other than the way she enjoys. But if you don’t know where to start, you can follow our five step guide to giving her good oral sex and you’ll both be loving it in no time!
Step 1: warm up
Most women need warming up – both mentally and physically. Take it slowly to start with and enjoy going down on her; there’s no need to rush!
As things heat up and clothes come off, find a comfortable position, so that you are free to focus on what you need to – her clitoris and vagina. It’s proven that most women can’t orgasm from penetration alone, so this is an opportunity to focus on giving her pleasure while bringing her closer to a climax.
Start by letting her feel the natural rhythm of your breath on her skin – once she’s aroused her whole body will experience a heightened level of sensitivity and even the smallest actions can make a difference.
Gently move your mouth around her panty line and lower stomach – start with what feels natural and respond to her body language. Lick, or even gently nibble as you go along. Even if her pants aren’t actually on, you can still tease her a bit – avoid suddenly making a beeline for her clit, she will need a warm-up before diving in.
Step 2: the clitoris
When your mouth first makes contact with her clit, try not to be too hard or too soft. Listen to her signals; find the pressure that is right for her.
There is a hood that covers her clitoris; some women like direct contact when getting oral sex, some like it over the hood, some don’t mind either, some change their mind each time: the point is, it’s up to you to work out what she wants at that moment.
Spread her lips and flick your tongue against her clit establishing a pace from here. Despite often being shown in porn, for some women, flicking feels too intense, so experiment with other sensations like rubbing or sucking. The most important thing to remember when giving oral sex – definitely do not neglect the clit, it’s a magical place for her!
Step 3: cover all bases
It’s time to take giving her oral even deeper. She will probably be red hot by now and wanting your tongue, fingers or penis to enter her, but this is the perfect opportunity to quickly check in and confirm. Move your tongue around the entrance to her vagina before diving in with a strong, pointy tongue – like a tongue erection, if you will.
Move your tongue in and out of her and then back up to her clit – follow her signals to discover the pace and movements that she likes. If you want to cover all bases and double the stimulation, try letting your tongue take care of her clit whilst your fingers are inside her.
For maximum pleasure, you could introduce a lubricant or massage gel at this stage to increase sensitivity. Not only will this ensure she is fully lubricated– wetter is always better, especially if using your fingers - but using a tingling lube or Durex Intense Gel will add that something extra.
If you find your tongue getting tired, this is a moment you could use a sex toy such as a vibrator. This can intensify the pleasure and take some of the pressure off of your tongue.
Step 4: all hands on deck
Don’t be afraid to let your hands wander! They could caress her breasts, nipples, stomach, thighs and bottom. This will make her feel like you can’t get enough of her and she will naturally relax even more.
Step 5: relax and enjoy
The final step is to enjoy her pleasure and satisfaction from getting oral sex - she doesn’t need to know we’ve helped a little.
Just remember, to give her good oral sex, communication is key! If you’re able to sense her signals and respond accordingly throughout, then that’s great, but it also never hurts to ask! There’s no need to be shy, you’re already naked together so find out what she wants, what feels good as you go along and generously give it to her.